Why Peer pressure May Be the reason behind your Unhappiness

Peer pressure. “The influence from members of one’s peer group.” 

We tend to view peer pressure in a negative light mostly because of how it is portrayed in the entertainment industry. But there is always sometimes a good side to everything. For example, if you have friends that make healthy choices, then you might be influenced by their actions. This would cause you to also make healthy choices.

But now that we’ve briefly talked about peer pressure in a positive light, it’s time to talk about the negative side of peer pressure.

We hear many stories about how negative peer pressure can be, and we think we can easily look out for the signs, but we can’t. Let’s say that you’re at a hangout with your friends, and you’re all having a great time, and then one of them just goes into the kitchen and takes out some alcohol.

You know that you’re all underage and can get into some serious trouble with your parents and the law if you continue. One of your friends hands you a red cup and you’re expected to take a drink. What would you do in that situation? The common-sense side of you would tell you to stop this whole thing and immediately get your parents involved.

That would be the right thing to do, and that is what we think we would do. However, these are your friends. You know they’re awesome and the coolest people you’ve ever met, but what would happen to your friendship if you decide to bring them into the authorities?

This questioning takes a serious strain on how you view your friendship. This is because you want to think you’re cool, but you know that’s not the right way. 

We’re teenagers and we’re living in this crazy world, while also trying to find where we fit in this strange place. Some of us care about people’s opinions about us. We think that everyone is staring at us and judging our every move when in reality they’re thinking about something else.

Now let’s be real here, we’ve all been in this situation before. We feel the need to act a certain way to gain the attention of others. I’m in high school, and every day I see many girls wearing revealing clothing and more makeup than they should. I’m not judging anyone at all, but I am rather curious why they wear what they wear.

Is it because they like the clothing and they want to feel comfortable or is it because they think that’s how they’re going to seek the approval of others? 

I remember a friend of mine told me to wear a skirt or a dress. But I didn’t want to because I don’t feel comfortable wearing that sort of clothing. I’ve never had. But then she responded along the lines of, “but that’s the only way, you’re going to get liked by guys.” This action is called spoken peer pressure.

“Spoken peer pressure is when a teenager asks, suggests, persuades or otherwise directs another to engage in a specific behavior.” (talkitoutnc.org).

If she was joking, then I’m sorry, but it wasn’t funny to me. Many of my friends know that I don’t like wearing skirts, and would much rather wear leggings and a simple hoodie because it’s comfortable.

So in that situation, I was a little bit alarmed by what my friend was saying because if a person was only into me because of what I was wearing, I wouldn’t want to be with that person.

Some people could give her the benefit of the doubt and say, “Oh what if she was trying to somehow gain your self-confidence.” I mean I guess so. I don’t know her exact intentions, but in my eyes, she made me feel bad about what I was wearing. That’s not what a friend or anyone for that matter, should do.

Should my friends have a say in what I wear? Absolutely not! If I was asking for some advice on my wardrobe, then ya I would want their help. But I wasn’t asking for anything, they wanted to help me when I did not want or needed their help. 

So with all of this talk about what peer pressure is, how are teenagers affected by this? Well, it depends on what kind of peer pressure it is.

Positive peer pressure effects would give you some self-confidence, increase your self-esteem, or give you a sense of belonging. But negative peer pressure effects are the pressure to take any beyond risk-taking actions. It also affects the massive distance between friends and/or family, or severe changes in behavior.

Peer pressure is a normal thing during teenagehood, but doing something you don’t feel comfortable doing is peer pressure and you don’t want to be a part of that. 

If you are ever feeling pressured by any of your peers, always remember and learn how to feel comfortable saying “no.” If your friends are true and kind, you wouldn’t need to apologize for you saying “no.” They should be able to understand and be okay if you don’t want to be in the same situation as you.

But unfortunately, if they don’t understand and continue to pressure you even though you’ve constantly said “no,” never hesitate to ask for an adult’s help. Just because peer pressure is a common thing for teenagers to go through doesn’t mean they can’t go through it alone. 

Sources: 

Lyness, D’Arcy Ph.D. “Peer Pressure (for Teens)” kidshealth.org, July 2015

Reach Out Australia. “Peer pressure and teenagers” parents.au.reachout.com, 2021

Talk It Out. “What are the 6 Types of Peer Pressure?” talkitoutnc.org, 26 November 2019

https://www.talkitoutnc.org/peer-pressure/types-of-peer-pressure/

Pontz, Eden. “The Positive Side of Peer Pressure” parentandteen.con, 17 October 2019

https://parentandteen.com/positive-peer-pressure/

“Things about Relationships I wish someone told me about.” Youtube, uploaded by Jaiden Animations, 7 April 2019 ( A helpful video)

Gupta, Chhavi. “What is Peer Pressure and How to Deal With It?” eatmy.news 7 July 2020

https://www.eatmy.news/2020/07/what-is-peer-pressure-and-how-to-deal.html